So after over 5 months of resumes, cover letters, interviews and temp agencies, I finally have a job (and no, unfortunately, it’s not the job in Paris). I just finished my first week on the job. I am tired, sleep-deprived, and overwhelmed by all the new things to learn, but man, does it feel good to get off my ass and do something productive. I am officially off the job market!

The job is actually better than anything I could have asked for (except for the fact that it isn’t in Paris…)  It is a job I found myself (from craig’s list) and it’s actually related to my field (as much as it could be).  The work seems interesting and the best part is that it is not a customer service job.  Granted, I am currently on a 3-month contract, but they have told me that they do not see this position going anywhere after 3 months, so it looks like it could lead to a permanent position with a lot of room for growth. If I do get a full time position, I will have 18 days vacation in my first year. After my first year, this will be increased to 20 days. This is almost unheard-of in the US.  It is quite exciting.  The pay is decent (more than I have ever earned in my life) and the people are nice.  The group in the US is still small so there is no heirachy yet, which is quite refreshing after my last corporate job.

So, for now (i.e. the next 3 months), I am a working girl.  It is a nice change.

When in Paris, I always get a warm fuzzy feeling, a feeling of awe and breathlessness that seems to be quite absent for me in the US. It’s a strange feeling that some might liken to love. I have never been so infatuated with anything in my life. I pass the same streets, the long avenues every day and never tire of the grandeur surrounding me. “Comme Paris est beau!” I exclaim during the night or the day, the rush hour or the hushed Sunday mornings before the city wakes. And it’s not just the Eiffel Tower or the cathedrals that strike my fancy; it’s the city, its smells, its language, its diversity, its culture. And despite all its imperfections, it remains perfect in my eyes. I always leave the city wondeirng how it will change, how I will have changed, but I always come back to the with a same renewed sense of awe and breathlessness.

I just spent the last 10 days in France, getting my Paris fix. It was the typical I am not a tourist trip to Paris. In fact, I don’t think I did one thing that would be on the typical Paris tourist list. Let’s take a look at the highlights of my trip:

I ate falafel from the best falafel place in Paris : L’as du falafel (which, by the way, raised their prices yet again.) There is nothing like hot falafel balls wrapped in a warm pita layered with hummus, salad, grilled eggplant (to die for) and huge amounts of hot sauce à volontiers (sauce piquante as they endearingly refer to it). In a quarter teeming with restaurants claiming to have the best falafel in Paris, L’as is definately my pick and believe me, I have tasted my share of falafel in the Marais. I think their secret lies in the layering of falafel balls, salad, sauce and grilled eggplant. (more detailed review to come at a later date)

My Cheri took me to a Libanese restaurant close to the Bourse in the 2nd arrondisement of Paris where we ate classic libanese Manouche and tasted a few mezzes. The food was fresh, the quality good, the taste unique. To finish off our meal, we tried a milk flan au fleur d’oranger (because I don’t know the translation but it’s like an orange flavoured syrup made from the flowers or leaves of an orange tree) and a mix of nuts and seeds in a sweet syrup mixed with different fruits.

We had happy hour cocktails at the famous Charly Birdy. I had 2 cosmopolitans which left me feeling a little lightheaded afterwards, seeing as I didn’t eat the whole day.

I had an interview. The lady basically gave me 3 books and told me to write a summary in French for 2 of the books and a summary in English for the other book. She later gave me a dictation. The response was positive. (more about this later).

I ate enormous amounts of cheese in many different forms.

I went to the boulangerie Eric Kayser, one of my favorite bakeries in the city, and bought fresh holey bread. There is nothing like fresh French bread!

I went to a concert at La Sorbonne.

Had a 5 hour, 5 course Sunday lunch at a gastronomic restaurant.

I spent some good quality time with my cheri and his family.

Et voila in a nutshell, my 10 days in France, 10 wonderful days in France. It was a productive trip with fairly positive results. I can’t complain. I am glad I went. I am glad I was able to spend time with my two greatest loves. Now, we will have to see what the future holds.

10 days into the new year and I am tempted to come up with a list of resolutions.  Though I am usually not one to list unacheivable goals for the next 365 days of my life (366 – 10, since this is a leap year and it’s already the 10th day of 2008), I thought it might be interesting to publish my resolutions on my blog.  Next year, 10 days into the year 2009, I will be able to mock my 2008 resolutions.  This will be a short list of doable goals, nothing too extravagent or unacheivable (though chances are, I will not achieve the easy goals I will list anyways).   So here goes.  Welcome 2008!

1.  Make a list of New Year’s resolutions (At the rate I am going, I should be able to acheive this goal in the next 10 minutes!  Woot!  I am well on my way).

2.  Find a job.  I am lining up the interviews!  One more interview this week and one, two or three next week (still unsure). This is not too much to ask for, is it?

3. Write at least 2 blog entries a week (hopefully on subjects that stretch beyond my daily existence).

4. And, hmmm, this is harder than I thought.

That’s enough.  I am sick of resolutions.  I resolve to reduce my list of resolutions to 2 for 2009.   Happy 2008! This should be a good year.  Eight, after all, is a lucky number for the Chinese.  And if you turn 8 on its side, you have infinity .  So, this will be the year of infinite possibilities (or maybe just 8).

Cheers.

Looking for a job? Go to the nearest McDonalds, Target or even Sears and ask for a application. Even the local Starbucks is hiring baristas. They will hire almost anyone. Hell, you don’t even need a college degree to find a job – just a clean drug test.

Looking for a career? Oh, where to start? The different industries are countless! You could go into real estate, telecommunications, banking, sales, consulting, pr, marketing, advertising, management, etc., etc. The possibilities are endless. Then why is it so hard to find a career?

For some reason, a career, by definition, is supposed to be more than just a job; it’s supposed to be a calling, one’s lifework. You can draw any old job out of a jar, but picking a career requires thought and purpose. Career choice can affect the rest of your life. After all, this will be what you will be doing until retirement. For the next 40 odd years, you will very much be defined by your profession. You will mention your work at least once during the first 3 sentences of any conversation. And after those 3 sentences, you will be categorized. You will be considered ambitious, hard-working and driven (if you have a career) or lost, lazy, and reckless (if you just work a job.) It’s unfair, but yet, it’s the truth.

Many career conselors have long drawn-out (not to mention expensive) methods of finding a career. They give you aptitude tests, personality tests, IQ tests in hopes of finding the perfect fit. And yet, every suggestion seems to be wrong, insulting. How could they possibly suggest that? Do I look like a [fill in job title]? We rely so much on what other people, tests, assessments tell us and in the end, we lose track of what we really want. Our priorities get all jumbled up; we lose ourselves. Because in the end, maybe we already know exactly what it is we want to do, but unfortunately, life gets in the way.

So what is important when looking for a career? Happiness. Yes, that seems like the obvious answer. But, for me, I am plagued by so many other questions. Will my family be happy with my choice? Will my family be proud of me? What are my chances of sucess? Where will I have to live? Will I make enough money to survive? In taking this career route, am I making an choice that contradicts my ethical beliefs? Can I go to a party and proudly talk about my job? Who will I be hurting? What will I give up? Will I find stability in this career? What is the market like in this field? There are almost as many questions as there are career possibilities. And after answering all these questions, you are left with a passionless career that seems to please everyone but yourself. The one career you once wanted to pursue has already been thrown out several times. And the career you do choose becomes just another job.

I am trying something new this year (though I will most likely not suceed). I am trying to ignore what everyone else tells me I should do. I am trying to rely on my own passion and trust my talents (or lack thereof). The point being I don’t want to forget the thing I know I want to do. I don’t want to fall victim to a passionless life where I wake up each morning only wishing to stay in bed for the rest of my life. I want more than a job; I want a career.

Do transcontinental relationships ever work out? I wish I could say yes. I am in a transcontinental relationship with a man who lives on the other side of the world from me. We have been apart for 4 months, 4 excrutiating months of looking for loopholes in the citizenship/visa policies. But as time passes, finding a way to be together becomes more and more difficult. It is no longer a hope but a burden and a constraint. My thoughts oscillate between starting a life in my country and relocation to be with my boyfriend. I can’t make a decision. I am idle.

I have spent the last 4 months looking for work. It has not been easy. I do apply for jobs but the problem is that my heart is not here in the American job market but back in France where I was happy (possibly for the first time in my life). For now, everything seems so temporary. I am afraid to settle. If I find a job in the US, I can’t go back to Paris. If I find a job in Paris, I might be hurting my chances for a real job in the US. The is no permanence in either decision. When is life going to start? There has to be a point where one tires of wandering from place to place looking for some stability.

I really don’t even know which path to take anymore. I am so busy trying to please the world that I no longer know what I want. I am losing my roots. I am losing track of myself. I know I can’t sacrifice my life for a relationship that can turn sour. I know I can’t compromise my future. But yet, I am incapable of letting go of the man I love. I am incapable of letting go of my dream. There is too much uncertainty in either decision. There is no way to move forward without regret.

I am reminded of one verse of KT Tunstall’s song “Other Side of the World” which goes something like:

“Can you help me?

Can you let me go?

And can you still love me when you can’t see me anymore?”

I wonder if he loves me enough to let me go. I wonder if he’s willing to save me the future heartbreak and an empty future. I wonder if he will realize that maybe this is best for both of us. I wonder if I am willing to do the same.

I am going to Paris next week.  Am I insane?  Yes.  Can I justify my decision to fly across the Atlantic? No.  Do I have enough money to go?  Technically, I have some savings, but as I am unemployed (with over $10,000 of student loan debt), I really cannot afford the trip.  Then, you ask with your right brow slightly raised, why am I going? Impulse, my dear, pure foolish, reckless impulse.  I am chasing a whim.  I am trying to keep my youthful idealism from getting too far away from me.

Next week, I will be on a plane across the Atlantic (as long as Chicago weather cooporates).  It is a 10 day trip.  I will hardly have enough time to get over my jetlag before I am on the plane heading back towards the USA.  It will probably do more harm than good, but I am going.  Frivolous.  I will meet with a potential employeur and then take a trip to the east of France.  10 days will fly by and then the tears will flow once more and I will be back on this couch blogging about another failed interview.

I am impulsive.  I am going to Paris for a stupid reason.  Everyone tells me I am being stupid.  I know I am being stupid, but people in love often do foolish things.  I cannot give up the chance to return to the city I am in love with.

Paris, je t’aime.

I am almost tempted to do a little experience with my resume and see what happens. My resume presently is not incredibly strong, but I have worked with one of the biggest and most well-known companies in the world (let’s call this company G). Granted, I did not go through the tedious hiring process G usually puts potential employees through, but entered the company through an aquisition. Most people would believe that having G on ones resume would be a big plus, but I am starting to see the drawbacks.

During interviews, I am often asked, “Why did you leave G?.” “Wasn’t G a great place to work?” Recruiters immediately think that anyone who would leave the almighty G must be a.) hard to work with, b.) hard to satisfy, c.) a horrible worker or d.) terribly stuck up. For who would ever leave such a wonderful, acclaimed and prestigious company? I will admit I enjoyed certain perks that G offered its employees but a few people with whom I worked made it impossible for me to see a future with this company. Why would anyone stay in a deadend job where they were insulted, pushed around and lied about? G does not have a perfect track record. G does do evil. And believe it or not, G is not the perfect, infallible place to work. People do quit.

Having G on my resume also seems to give people the impression that I should be exceptional. After all, most employees at G go through extensive screening and several interviews. Aquisitions are the loophole. Not everyone at the acquired company was exceptional. In fact, there were some people who were not the brightest marbles in the bag.

The fact being that no one should make any assumptions about who I am or how I perceive myself based on this aspect of my resume. I once thought it would be great to have such a padded resume but now, I am considering removing my G experience from my resume. It carries too much baggage. Without G, I might be able to land one of those crappy admin positions I have been applying to. I am tempted to experiment.

While I am at it, I might as well say that I am a recent graduate and have a degree in business (wth a 3.78 gpa bonus!). I took a few years off after high school to experience the real world before deciding that a college degree would be necessary in order to advance in the business world. I spent the time before entering college working several jobs that ranged from working the cash register in a department store, to waitressing, to answering phones in a call certain. During college, I continued working as a cashier to help pay for my schooling. I am thus looking for an entry level job with room for advancement and aspire to move up to managerial position. A perfectly constructed lie that would land interviews left and right! (I might as well just sell my soul to the devil now.)

The funny thing about this is that 90 percent of the companies I apply to would not even know that this resume was a big fat lie. Most never verify the information. And even funnier still, I would probably have more sucess with this phony resume than with the real one that has real experience.

But in truth, I believe in sincerity. I refuse to lie to get the job. I refuse to give them the answer they want to hear. If sincerity and passion are not their virtues, perhaps they are not the company I want to work for.

Update from the Paris internship front:

Looks like I will be in Paris during the week of January 14th. No one knows yet. I have not even purchased the plane tickets or asked my friend whether I can crash at his appartment for a week. I hardly have enough change to scrape up enough money to go to Paris, but I am going. I know. But I refuse to tell anyone; I refuse to have to explain myself. I am going – that is certain, but everything else remains in the dark.

The trip will be short and sweet – a voyage across the ocean to meet with a potential employeur. I know the chances of emloyment are slim but it is well worth the risk for all that I might gain. My friends and family might give me those reluctant looks and tell me to reconsider, but as far as I am concerned, there is nothing to reconsider. I want to go to Paris. I want to find work. I can’t find work in the US. Apparently, I am too overqualified for admin and too underqualified for any other job. I have gone to 4 different temp agencies, none of which have found me anything worthy of mention. The fact being that this employment opportunity in Paris could lead to a carreer, a future and some hope. The job, be it administrative and repetitive, is in a secteur that interests me. And just being in such an environment would be beneficial.

So, wish me bon voyage. In a few weeks, I will be on a plane to Paris to meet my future. If it works out, great and if not, at least, I will know.